Sparky and I went to Costco with his parents. We had never been there before and wanted to see what all the excitement was about. Well, it is pretty much just a clone of Sam’s Club. They had lots of stuff from TVs and air conditioners to flowers and food. As we were strolling around checking out the deals, I was checking out the other customers. I tend to people watch when I’m not actively looking to purchase something. Although the other people in the store were much classier than Wal-Mart shoppers, there were still plenty of fashion mistakes! I should have taken photos but I wasn’t sure what the store policy was…
1. The first look was a woman (30-ish) with her husband. She had those shoe/boots that have cutouts on the sides and toe and have a zipper up the back of the heel. She was carrying a huge purse and kept flipping her long blonde hair. The top was one of those with the shoulders cut out. Her jeans were white, in a glow in the dark way, and skinny so that they looked painted on. It wouldn’t have made me take notice except she was “commando”. And I know this because the jeans in addition to being tight were also a little thinner weight denim. She wasn’t a natural blonde. Even Sparky noticed. My MIL said in a not so soft voice that it was obvious that she didn’t own a full length mirror!
2. The second look was a teenager probably a graduating senior. She had opted for the “Daisy Dukes” cut-off jean shorts. And I know it is a fashion thing, but when your butt cheeks hang out the bottom of your shorts, they are too short!
3. The 3rd look was a very elegant and put together woman. She reeked of excess disposable income. She decided to go shopping in a very nice sundress and matching bolero jacket (and hat and purse and earrings). She wouldn’t have made the list except she took the time to strike a pose every couple yards. I looked around but couldn’t see the photographer. At one point she took off her jacket and held it over one shoulder posing. She reminded me of a store mannequin. We left the store and she was still in the produce area practicing her moves for her imaginary photo shoot.
4. In the parking lot we happened upon a young man exiting a car. I thought the car was ugly but Sparky said it was a Viper. Anyway the kid (he didn’t look very old – maybe if you squinted he might pass for 21), was wearing khaki cargo shorts and a white polo shirt. Sounds like standard attire but his shorts were belted just below his behind to expose boxer shorts in a jungle print. I’m not sure how he was able to walk with his pants that low. If you can afford to drive a really expensive car you should be able to afford to buy pants that fit. (Yes I know it is a fashion and that he no doubt was wearing them that way for fashion’s sake.)
5. The last look was shocking and amusing at the same time. I am old and I just can’t deal with low rise pants that want to crawl off my backside. The woman was at least 40 and could well have been 50 and she was wearing a pair of peachy beige low rise capri pants. She looked fine. Fine until she bent over. I just didn’t expect “plummer’s butt in the middle of the aisle. I gasped and Sparky wanted to know why. I explained that it was an involuntary response to what I was seeing. He followed my gaze and did a double take. The color of her pants coupled with the fashion malfunction made her appear to be naked. I was embarrassed for her.
Sparky reassured me that I was dressed with the proper decorum, had no indecent exposures occurring, and was age appropriate. I told Sparky that all of the above are reasons I sold my spandex unitard, most of my yoga pants, and a couple winter tops and sweaters…