Watching the Storm Rage

Rapid patter pounds the roof
Against the window raps
Impatient rain upon the glass
No one home I gasp
Wind whipped water loudly pounds
Thunder shakes the walls
Let me in the storm demands
Not tonight I shout

This week is a continuation of the tornado that is swirling at work. I am doing everything possible to prevent the hazardous conditions wreaking havoc in my psyche. That means I am writing here. I went shopping this last weekend at Goodwill. I cooked some comfort food – Singapore Noodles with Shrimp, Poached Brown Trout, Chicken Sabudana Khichdi – which translates into lots of leftovers so I don’t have to cook much this week. One of my coworkers gave me a gift. He saw how stressed I was and presented me with “The Little Zen Companion“, a book of zen sayings, quotes and stories. I thanked him and took a few minutes to peruse the contents. When I run out of the current “zen” meditative words that I’ve been posting on my office door, I have a whole new set to share with the rest of the stressed out folks. If you look for me I’ll be the crazy one running around with stacks of SOPs and laminated signs and velcro dots…

Looking Down

More vacation musings. We went to Smokey Mountain National Park. The weather was cloudy and there were intermittent showers. Still the views were breathtaking. We hiked. I didn’t take very many pictures. It is always a disappointment for me to look at the photos and not be able to take in the scope of the view. There is no sense of height and depth and the sheer size of the world as I experienced it.

This is one of the few pictures I took. It pales compared to my memory.

We also drove and hiked around and on Mt. Mitchell. It was cold and raining and windy. So cold and wet that I didn’t take any photos. We did find 4 earth caches or virtual caches. All of them were on mountains. All of them were a slog through wind and rain and dense fog. We got wet but we were victorious in getting the cache information.

And one of the caches we found in Greenville was one that looked down on us. We were looking for a mouse statue. I had seen another one and it was the size of a medium sized dog. This one was (according to the cache description) the most difficult of the 10 or so statues to find. We looked all over. Finally, at the suggestion of a resident who knew all about the famous mice statues, we looked up. There she was!

Seeking the Source

I was hiking in the woods
The ground uneven
Roots and ruts along the path
Trip hazards and speed bumps
Slowing my pace
I kept my eyes to the ground
And it began to rain
I watched the water trickle
Lifting my gaze to the distance
I saw the water run swiftly
I followed slowly until I too ran
With wild abandon along the trail

I have been under a great deal of stress. I mentioned that I wanted to “be the water” and find the path. But what I really want to do is find the source of the water. Find the reason for the water. Figure out why the water flows and determine the purpose of the water. Or in other words find my purpose, my path, my origin, my reasons and in answering these questions resolve the tension and enjoy the journey. Isn’t that what we all want? Maybe what I want is to go on vacation again. Maybe in a month or so I’ll be able to relax and reconcile the dream with the reality. Maybe in a month I will be able to exhale and release 26 years of anxiety.