Looking Over My Shoulder

This last year was a tough one. I went through a big change at work where our department was reorganized, jobs were eliminated and new jobs created. The stress was incredible. There were times when I felt I was walking through fire. I survived. I am trying to “grow” into my new position. I won’t lie – it is difficult still and there are lingering issues that will need to be addressed. But that is what happens after a fire, the old is burned away and the new growth pushes through the ashes and claims a space. We are in the reclamation phase.

Sparky switched to full-time from a part-time position. He is enjoying his 2nd career. It lets his OCD have a fun romp every day. He has discovered that he is a “people-person” which is a big swing from the shy and introverted guy I married 34 years ago. Although he is not raking in the big bucks that he did as a computer programmer/analyst, the stress is greatly decreased and he is enjoying himself. His hours are not horrible but he has to work more weekends than not. This puts a crimp in my schedule but it is manageable.

There were a couple medical scares. My mammogram was “abnormal” but on further testing it was a false alarm. My mother had to have the aortic valve in her heart replaced (again a lot of hand wringing and a few tears). When it came down to it, the surgery was a piece of cake and at 85 she came through with flying colors. At this rate she will make it to 100 and possibly beyond!

Son#1 was in a car crash (not his fault). Thankfully he was not injured but the car was totaled. The other bit of luck was that his father and grandfather were following him as the three of them were moving a dresser from our house to his. That made them witnesses. The accident resulted in lots of gnashing of teeth, insurance company run arounds, a police report snafu, and finally a new-to-him car. During that time we had to juggle schedules to get him to and from work and to cart him around for car shopping. Finally, he got a loaner (after 5 weeks being with out transportation) that he had for 2 weeks before the purchase of his new vehicle. *sigh*

Son#2 broke up with his serious girlfriend on New Years Day 2016. He took it hard. I think he was considering her “the one”. He managed to pull himself together. Then when he seemed to be just fine, she announced her engagement and then quickly got married this year. He says he is happy for her. He has not dated anyone since the breakup.

And then there are the tragedies and tribulations that have occurred in the lives of friends and extended family. Some have come as tiny ripples from a distant stone dropping into a pond and others have been huge waves breaking over my shore. I have seen tears and witnessed courage and strength. Life is not fair.

So as the end of 2017 draws near, I find myself looking over my shoulder as I sprint toward the new year. Retrospective and philosophical thoughts creep into my mind and try to obscure my hope for a better 2018. As fragile as hope appears, it, like so many of us, is tougher than we imagine.

14 thoughts on “Looking Over My Shoulder

    1. The only reason I was able to leave the building and have a walk about was because my workplace was figuratively on fire. It was a welcome relief to escape the pressure and meet with a fellow xangan! I have to thank you for stopping by and “rescuing” me from the flames! It was a pleasure to meet you and be able to show you around my campus!!

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  1. As bad as this year has been, the next one is going to start off even worse. I’d just as soon stay right here at the end of December like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, snow, cold and all.

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  2. Here’s hoping and praying 2018 is better for us all.
    Our youngest son’s fiancee’ broke up with him this summer..about killed him. They’d dated four years. Today is the day they’d planned on marrying so..it’s been a rough day for him.
    Hugs.

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  3. Interesting to read about your last year and your comments. Dear daughter Valerie, I’m not sure I’ll make it to 100. My goal right now is just to live long enough to see a different man in the White House… and maybe to get to 2000 hours of my volunteer service for the VA medical center. Life is rather iffy. We really don’t know what the future holda, but I am hopeful that things will be OK. I always remind myself of that song from the Broadway show “Annie “ …”The sun will come up tomorrow bet your bottom dollar there’ll be sunshine.” Love you all!

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  4. Wow, you did have a tough year! But I’m glad you soldiered through it, and I sincerely wish that 2018 brings you much better things, for you and your family. Happy New Year!

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