On schedule and here is episode 10 in the story without a name. Now that we are 10 vignettes into the story how do you like the title “Looking Back” suggested by Stephen’s Mustang (aka Elizabeth Ann but not Merit’s sister)?
The holidays are a tough time for me. Society has conspired to point out that I’m alone. The last time I joined my brother for Christmas we ended up staring at our plates as his then wife puttered around and tried to make conversation. It was awkward. There is this unspoken expectation that we should be laughing while reminiscing about growing up. The things I remember as funny are certainly not events he would laugh about. I suspect he has never forgiven me for the elevator prank. I still laugh about it. He had just turned 14 and I was still 10 and totally unaware of the whole boy–girl attraction. We had gone on vacation and were staying in a hotel with a pool. I wanted to go swimming. DJ was completely against taking me to but my mother told him he couldn’t go unless I went too. There were several cute girls his age or maybe a little older that he had been making eyes at during breakfast. It just so happened that they were at the pool too. Long story short, he had been completely obnoxious toward me and had threatened to drown me if I so much as looked at him. After they left, DJ decided I was done swimming and ordered me out of the water. I was fuming mad. As the elevator doors opened, I yanked his swim trunks down and fled. It wasn’t intentional but the girls were waiting for the elevator to go down. Well, needless to say DJ wanted to kill me. I stayed out of his way for several months. I don’t recall being punished so I’m guessing he never told anyone. My first therapist wanted me to explore my conscience and find events where I wronged someone and to feel remorse. I still haven’t been able to dig up something that I’ve done and felt guilt-stricken or in need of seeking forgiveness. I’ve wondered if that made me a budding sociopath.