Looking for Fresh Air

Spring fresh
From a can
Fooling no one

This is a Lanturne – a 5 line poem with a a strict syllable count (1-2-3-4-1) where the last line is a synonym or near synonym of the first line. This uses the Looking Foolish Scavenger Hunt prompt #7 – air.

Living with 3 males I had to resort to various air fresheners out of a sense of self preservation. I installed solid air fresheners in their bedrooms, spray air fresheners in the bathrooms, and I bought Febreeze by the gallon. It was futile. When they would use the bathroom, on reflex I’d shout “FLUSH!” as soon as I heard the door close. It never seemed to work. The green toxic fumes would seep under the door and invade the rest of the house. Kurt Vonnegut, being a male, had the standard attitude toward “passing gas”, “dropping a cookie”, “crop dusting”, “cutting the cheese” or any other euphemism for flatulence. I quote, “And people still laugh about as much as they ever did, despite their shrunken brains. If a bunch of them are lying around on a beach, and one of them farts, everybody else laughs and laughs, just as people would have done a million years ago.” – Galápagos For those not familiar with this book, I recommend you check it out of the library and give it a read. It is about human evolution. A disease forces people to abandon land and basically become seals. Yes, anytime one of the guys lets one rip, they all pause and then laugh. If a woman lets one escape it is cause for complete mortification and profuse apologies. No one thinks it is funny. And on the whole I’m fairly certain the feminine version is lesser in quantity and decibel rating and definitely less toxic. So why are girl farts not funny but the stuff that could be used as a chemical warfare agent is a laugh riot? Go figure…

14 thoughts on “Looking for Fresh Air

  1. Your poem made me laugh, even before reading the rest of your post. We kind of went polar opposite on this prompt! My poem would have started with some version of “Don’t breathe… Hold your breath…”


      1. I’m a little jealous- I have a really hard time writing limericks. I don’t know why but they just don’t come easily for me. You are really nailing all of these prompts! Woot!


    1. Ha! Yep – the guys sure like to belch. I suppose it is like my brother in law once said, “I never apologize for normal bodily functions.” And of course to quote Shrek, “Better out than in!” That pretty much sums up the male psyche.


  2. Yep, air fresheners are worthless. And it is terribly unfair that men are expected to fart (and laugh about it) while women are supposed to be far too lady like to do the same thing.


  3. LOL! So true… But some of the younger generation seems to be a bit different. The poem made me laugh, too, but it made me think of work and someone who goes, sprays and then closes the bathroom door and traps everything in for the next person! It’s a one person bathroom so…. I tried out this form after reading yours. I may post one later. peace to you


    1. Yep! I get dizzy when they use half a can in the little bathroom at work. It is pretty bad when the smell of “fresh linen” hits you in the face and rolls down the hallway! I hope you do post – I love to see your poetry!


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