Looking for Closure

Episode 29 of “looking Back” is below for your reading pleasure.

It is starting to look green outside. The weather has turned balmy. I’d like to visit my hometown. Nostalgia is a strange thing. My psychologist believes that I need to make connections with others and especially with my family. She told me that a visit would provide me with “some context and closure for my unresolved feelings of estrangement”. I’m not sure if she really believes that or if she just likes to hear herself talk. She also assumes that my family will come to me. Not that they’ve made any effort recently. I think they are sulking because I won’t give up my share of the family home. If I were to go visiting, my sister would be the last person I’d willingly go see. Now my brother might be someone I’d consider looking up. But the point is really moot, since they have no desire to see me. One of my neighbors vacated their apartment last week. I’m thinking of moving out as well. But that is all it is, thinking, for now. I will finish my online class next week and should have the official diploma within 10 days after that. It really is too bad you can’t learn to fly a plane through an online university. All this thinking about the future is just a diversion to prevent me from dwelling on the past. Having memories is a plus and a minus. I remember that first car I bought. It was a real rust bucket. It was a Chevy Vega which was basically a skateboard with an engine. It cost me $350 and was 17 years old with 190,000 miles on it. It lasted two years before the floorboard rusted through and the engine cracked. The nice thing was the scrap yard paid me $350 for it. Basically I paid for gas and oil. That car didn’t have a lot going for it. The seats were duct taped and the steering pulled to the right. It was a fight to keep it on the road. On the other hand it got me where I wanted to go, when I wanted to go. There was no waiting for a bus or hailing a taxi. I miss that car more than I miss my brother or sister and loads more than my parents.

8 thoughts on “Looking for Closure

  1. I always are wondering, Val, if you write about you of if you wrote a story. The past and the familial context seems, to have a deep influence on the writer (on you? )
    I knew a divised family in the far past . All of them atre gone now .. Be quiet.
    Love ❤
    Michel

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    1. Haha! No. This story is complete fiction. I love my family and don’t have any of the issues that Merit has experienced. I’m flattered that my writing has resulted in a realistic character!

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    1. Thanks for the kind words and the compliment! I once thought that being a writer was something I could do for a living… then I grew up and in 5th grade decided that a career working with animals would be more (barely) more lucrative and self-sustaining!

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