Looking Snubbed

I really didn’t enjoy 8th grade. I didn’t think 9th or 10th grades were much better. Somehow I am caught in some sort of weird time vortex where the worst part of middle school and early high school is playing out in my life once again. I guess I need to explain and give you all a little context:
I was very shy. I was studious and although I had friends they consisted of a group of outcasts. I was not part of the popular crowd. I was nearly invisible. The important part is the word “nearly” because I was seen and heard. At least to a degree that resulted in some of the popular girls snubbing me. I wasn’t usually blatant although there were a few instances where there was no mistaking their intentions. I would take the slights personally thus setting myself up for anguish.

Fast forward 50 years. I am a recovering introvert. That means that time and experience have brought me out of myself. I’ve realized that the opinions of others as regards my being reflect more on who they are than who I am. I have learned that I am in charge of my own happiness. And I don’t have to have everyone like me. It is really freeing! In the next breath I have to say that the juvenile behavior of some people is really annoying. I want to shake them and shout “Grow-up!”

This last week saw a person from another department refuse to answer my email inquiries. When I approached her to get my question answered, she literally turned her back to me. It was very childish. I had to make the decision to engage or walk away. I walked. But I do not forget. There will be a time in the not so distant future when she will need me to provide her with information. I will eventually fulfill her request… I’m tempted however to play the same game. Not that I would but it is a enjoyable fantasy to give tit for tat.

21 thoughts on “Looking Snubbed

  1. Some people are like that. Wrangler’s sister and my brother who are 23 only call or text when they want something. An ignore most calls and text from me. Wrangler’s mom is a game player. Calls at 3 Saturday saying they are having cake and ice cream Sunday at 2 for our niece’s birthday at her house 2 hours away. This is after telling her two times this week we are busy and had to leave Sunday. She will hold that against us in the near future in one of her fits

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          1. That’s exactly what we do. We also know when stuff is heating up by the texts we get and calls. Than sometimes when it’s high drama I ignore their texts and calls to stay out of it

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            1. Haha! I wish I could be traveling and say, “We were on the road and couldn’t get reception. By the time your texts all went through everything was back to normal!”

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    1. You give someone a smidgen of control and they become “little Hitlers”. It is akin to big dogs peeing on every corner! I’m getting so very tired of it. As for introverts – it is a matter of just deciding not to expend the energy worrying. I’ve gotten to the point where it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of me – so the pressure is off. I don’t have to impress!

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  2. We are in what is hopefully a stage, wherein it is now fashionable to snub one’s perceived “opponents”. I see this among immature people, of all walks of life and at all points along the political spectrum. You are, from what I’ve seen, above that sort of thing, though you’re right-tit for tat is often tempting.

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    1. I can fantasize but would never act on it. I have a poster in my office that says “Be the change you want to see in the world” so I model the behavior and hope my example plants seeds of change!

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  3. Good for you! Miserable people are miserable enough without happy people like us dumping on them. Drama seems to make some people feel alive; it just makes me tense. I’m with you, avoid ’em.

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  4. Seventh and eighth grade were hard years for me, too. As for those who refuse to grow up and persist in acting as they are perpetually in middle school, all I can say is, the less we have to interact with them, the better! Good luck dealing with that coworker….

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    1. *sigh* The immaturity is on the rise. I’m not sure why but the political climate isn’t helping. Lucky for me she isn’t really a coworker – she is in a different department and although our paths cross it is infrequent.

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