Looking Through Water

I never liked opening my eyes under water. Mostly it was the sting of the chlorine that kept my eyelids clamped shut. The few times I did open them under water, everything was blurry and had a distortion that confused me. Here I sit typing away at the computer. I have to concede that everything appears to be underwater. It is that same wavy focus imbued with uncertainty and hesitation. But it isn’t caused by eyestrain or not wearing my glasses. It is an astigmatism of my heart and mind caused by the chaos I’m viewing… And to put my mother at ease, I am not having any crisis in my marriage. This is simply a result of not being able to write about what is really bothering me at work. Pretend this is not the rejection of a lover and instead use your imagination.

The world as seen through wavy glass
Or is it water streaming from my eyes
Distorting joy and hope and summers past
When surprise announces love’s demise

The shock that radiates from the soul
A sudden gasp and tearful cry
When the world crushes every goal
And shows all the tokens and words a lie

Tears bitter and salty wash my face
Cleans my mind and scrubs my heart
Removes doubts and love’s last trace
I’m made pure for life’s new start

23 thoughts on “Looking Through Water

  1. It’s hard to soar with eagles when you work with a bunch of turkeys. Our work is such a tremendous part of the quality of life that strife there is just about as devastating as marital problems. You have my deepest sympathy and concern.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks bunches. It is true – sometimes we spend more time with coworkers than with family. It helps when the people you work with are good ones. For the most part the problem isn’t with my coworkers…


  2. Oh, Val — I’m so sorry to read this! I had hoped that your strife would end with the reorganization that occurred last year, but it only sounds worse at this point. You remain in my thoughts as you work through whatever is happening at this point. Hugs!


  3. So, the drama from on high continues! You know far more about what you do, on a daily basis, than most of the so-called “experts”. I take it that “love” refers, rightfully, to your feelings for your work.


  4. I can’t say that I fully understand because I don’t know the work situation….
    but I can say how much I am able to empathize with the emotions. That part about ‘the world crushing’… I really get it.
    I too, hope God works things out, and they get better. ❤ (((hugs)))


  5. Oh Val… that poem could have come from my soul. But for me, it’s not about work. You brought me so much comfort last year… if you need to get away and vent, give me a call and we’ll head for the woods to hike and talk and maybe find a few caches. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Several days after I finished it, I went back and re-read it. It did sound like your experience and I hope it didn’t hit any sore spots. Will you be at Fernwood on Sept 9 for the cache placement?? I’m hoping by then I’ll be out of physical therapy but as things are going I may need to develop a relationship with a massage therapist, chiropractor, or possibly an acupuncturist!


  6. Yes, I am planning to be at Fernwood. The poem did make me tear up a bit, but more out of empathy for you than my own sorrow. Things will surely turn around soon. That’s my prayer anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. WOW! Powerful piece of writing! Call your mother …. talking is very good therapy!!! This poem definitely has to go in your book!


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