Looking Older

I was once young. Time moves and my younger self slides further away. I glance over my shoulder and can barely make out the color of my hair. So here I am. One moment I was limber and strong and carefree. Now I find my body does not cooperate as easily. There is dissonance between will and ability. I must cajole the present me into doing what the past me did without a second thought. My 10 year old self is impatient. My 16 year old self is disgusted. My 30 year old self is disappointed. My 45 year old is resigned. But it is my 60 year old self that is angst ridden. I wring my hands and wonder how this has happened. But I know the answer. I am still alive. And that is a wonderful thing. I was once young and it was marvelous. Now I’m much older and life is different but still superb!

Above is my prose poem about aging. I was talking with my sister in law and she was saying that her significant other was doing some modeling. He is making lots of money posing for advertisements. The company is looking for additional models. Specifically older women with grey hair that are slender and active. Seems that here are a dearth of older women willing to look their age. Go figure. I noticed a company was hawking a drug for erectile dysfunction and the man in the ad was silver haired and obviously in his 70s but his “wife” looked like she was a 30 year old that had been made-up to look older. It just didn’t look right….

31 thoughts on “Looking Older

  1. On a serious note, if a middle-aged man has trouble with ED he should have his heart checked. I did not realize that was a symptom of heart problems. Fortunately, at that time the pills were new and we were both afraid for him to try them. That and bad teeth and bleeding gums, sore shoulders, and shortness of breath. All of those could have been linked to other conditions, so we did not realize he had a heart problem. Of course, being a man, he would not go to the Dr. or the dentist unless Absolutely Necessary.

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  2. On a lighter note, maybe I should apply for a job. I qualify. I’m older (for sure!) I have gray hair. I’m slender if you don’t look at my middle. After 7 babies, my waist has disappeared. I guess it’s still in there somewhere. On second thought, maybe not.

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    1. Hehe! Being able to pull all-nighters, drink and still function the next day, and eating whatever you want is over rated. Those are the things that go first and I can’t say I miss those abilities!

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  3. It happens to the best of us! Nearly 78, I have white hair, I’m heavy, though losing weight, I’m active, though sometimes with a little nagging pain, and tomorrow is another eye operation! My 77 year old self accepts all of this and life goes on 🙂 !

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    1. Hope the next surgery goes well and your recovery is fast!! Indeed life goes on. My mother just bought a humongous TV so that she can see TV better. Finding work-arounds is fast becoming the the norm for me – just following her example!

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    1. I’m told that viagra is not the best solution — it can seriously damage weak eyes, to the point of blindness. My friend has refused to take it for some time now in order to preserve what eyesight he still has.

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  4. Thanks — it’s similar to Lasik, and should clear up the near vision that cataract surgery didn’t fix — may be more uncomfortable for a couple of weeks, but then I may not need glasses at all! For your mom, there are LOTS of work-arounds for the blind — there’s a group (non-profit, I think) called the Braille Institute, that offers all sorts of aids and knows of others. And through them, the Library of Congress has a free reading aloud service in which they send you a machine and CD’s of the books you request. My friend in Santa Barbara has a reading machine that is sort of like a scanner with a screen that projects magnified images of papers — and a tiny one (the pebble) that does the same on a portable level, reading just a few words at a time. It’s inconvenient, yes, but far better than not being able to read at all!

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  5. One of the first things people learn about me is my age. I see no point, ever, in acting otherwise. I keep fit and look different ages to different people, though never under fifty- which is perfectly fine. I would never use Viagra, though that is a moot point right now- as I also believe that certain things happen only in a state of matrimony.

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  6. It’s all gravy–we’re alive and that’s better than being dead. Whatever keeps you keeping on (Viagra, coffee, a stiff drink, whatever) enjoy the ride! A woman in my high school graduation class just died from lung cancer at age 58. Reminds me what God-given grace each day is…

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  7. I call this process “reinvention.” We either make adaptations and do what we used to do, or find new interests that more closely match our capabilities. Women seem more determined than men to look young for as long as possible. I don’t color my hair or use make-up (and I’ve had hearing aides since I was 30), so I look older than 50 according to society’s standards. But the community I live in is full of liberal “granola girls” who are also gray, wrinkly, bare-faced, etc, so I don’t really stand out. It’s interesting that 70 year olds on Viagra commercials have wives that look 30; I think that fosters unrealistic expectations. Are 30-ish women really that desperate? Couples who have been married 25 years or more are the second most likely age group to get divorced, perhaps because men are getting their second wind (from Viagra) when their wives are peri/menopausal and not as interested in sex. Loved your “prose poem.” But Muri, you seem too well-adjusted to call yourself “angst-ridden.” Here’s to aging gracefully. 🙂

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    1. OK you’ve outed me – I am well adjusted and I’ve got awesome coping skills (years of practice). I do however have moments of angst-like panic. They pass quickly and my rational self can usually over-ride my primal fight or flight response (except in the case of spiders/spider webs). Women reinvent themselves constantly. We are adaptable. Men who need to “trade-up” to younger women eventually find that there isn’t anyone willing to hitch their wagon to their star…

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