Looking at Whale Song

I was thinking about human courting behavior. Which made me consider my ongoing romance with my husband. Below is a haiku where I explore love after 40 years:

Belly to belly
In language only I know
He sings a whale song

I decided to take this theme and attempt to move it into different forms. This is a kimo, a modern Israeli haiku, composed of 3 line with a syllable count of 10/7/6:

We sing intestinal whale song duets
Entwined belly to belly
Through ocean depths in love

Then there was the Tyburn. This form is more difficult – there are 4 rhyming lines of 2 syllables each, followed by 2 rhyming lines consisting of 9 syllables each. The 5th – 8th syllables of the 5th line are made of the 1st and 2nd lines and the 6th line followed the pattern of the 5th – 8th syllables are the 3rd and 4th syllables. It isn’t the easiest poem to write:

My love
Sort of
True love
Above
Held to his heart my love sort of sings
Whale song rises, true love above wings

And then there is the Rhopalic verse, a Greek form with deceptively simple rules – the 1st word in a line has one syllable, the 2nd has 2 syllables, the 3rd has 3 syllables, the 4th has 4 syllables, and so on. You can have as many words in each sentence as you desire as long as they follow the rule.

Minds entwined intellect
One body interweave
True marriage consummate
Love making serenade
Whale language recital

31 thoughts on “Looking at Whale Song

    1. Ah Gracia! Thank-you for the compliment! No I don’t lay awake and think up words – I do that during the day!! I also enjoy reading the dictionary every now and again.

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  1. Love this, Muri. Very gestalt. Four poems that, together, add up to more than the sum of their parts. I giggled at your singing of “intestinal whale song duets.” The Tyburn and Rhopalic were new forms to me. Both look daunting, and I am awed by how skillfully you pulled them off. You know I will be kicking these around in my head, like a brain teaser I can’t put down. 🙂

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    1. I’m pretty sure you can easily handle them both – as the comment you left with the Tyburn proves. I love the Sweet Justice served up to those pesky boys! Thanks for the wonderful compliment!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Very lovely, Val . However I think your love does not lead you to the depths of the oceans but rather in the seventh heaven where it is singing with the angels ‘choir!
    Love ❤
    Michel

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  3. OK, Muri. Here’s a Tyburn for you, based on a childhood experience:

    SWEET JUSTICE
    Not fair
    Rage flares
    Beware
    Ripe pears
    No girls allowed? Not fair! Rage flares. Brats.
    Boys in clubhouse, beware! Ripe pears. Splat!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Here is a rhopalic poem, the follow-up to Sweet Justice. I might do a Haiku and Kimo too, expanding on the same theme, as you did with the longtime love/whale songs:

        SOUR INJUSTICE

        Pears dangle, convenient,
        sweet, squishy, overripe.
        Rage-fueled temptations
        hit, rupture, hemorrhage.
        Juice oozes righteously.
        Thrill fleeting, however.
        Hands sticky tattletales.
        Sin demands atonement,
        says mother, furnishing
        scrub brushes, bucketfuls
        of sudsy punishment.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. 10th Grade English was a favorite class of mine – we kept journals and read books my parent probably would have objected to as class reading! We read Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood among other books… No poetry until my junior year of English.

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  4. Love yours and love those of your followers too…very interesting. I always said you could be a professor of poetry…a poetic pedagogue! Valerie, I really mean it! Start on your text book of all the types of poetry with your own original examples! You are an inspiration to others.

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    1. Ha! I’m glad you think I’m so good but I’m not credentialed to teach English or poetry… If I do a book it won’t be a text book (there are just too many and it narrows the audience to enthusiastic instructors and unwilling students). I feel a poetry compilation is in the future – a much more likely outcome than a text book!

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      1. But it could be used as an example of various forms of poetry by a teacher. I think it would be used in classes to show and teach about the many various types of poetry…. so in fact it would be a kind of required reading textbook. But one with a wider audience. This possibly could make you rich and famous!

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        1. You are trying very hard to convince me however good I may be, the teachers are going to use a poet laureate or other famous poetry works instead on anything I might get published. Especially since it is likely to be self published!

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    1. If you enjoy it and it is accessible then it is great poetry! That is one criteria for me – the other is that it evokes an emotion in the reader and so I win on that front too!! Thanks so very much for reading my poems.

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  5. OK, Muri, here’s the whole collage of poems about the pear tree incident. The boys behaving this way and our angry response brought about the end of an era in our neighborhood, a sort of misogynistic Pandora’s Box:

    SWEET JUSTICE
    (Tyburn)
    Not fair
    Rage flares
    Beware
    Ripe pears
    No girls allowed? Not fair! Rage flares. Brats.
    Boys in clubhouse, beware! Ripe pears. Splat!

    SOUR INJUSTICE
    (Rhopalic)
    Pears dangle, convenient,
    sweet, squishy, overripe.
    Rage-fueled temptations
    hit, rupture, hemorrhage.
    Juice oozes righteously.
    Thrill fleeting, however.
    Hands, sticky tattletales.
    Sin demands atonement,
    says mother, furnishing
    scrub brushes, bucketfuls
    of sudsy punishment.

    MAKING NICE
    (Kimo)
    Utopia hardens into charades,
    insincere apologies
    met with feigned forgiveness

    P.S.
    (Haiku)
    Pear tree found guilty
    of aiding and abetting:
    weapons supplier

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! I love it!! This made me smile all the way through. I remember some incidents in the same vein – we didn’t have a pear tree, we didn’t retaliate, we also didn’t assist the boys when one fell from the tree house after chucking rocks at us (he broke his arm). It was the first time that I realized that there was karmic justice in the universe. You just have to wait for it! I hope no one went so far as to cut down the pear tree in punishment…

      Liked by 1 person

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