Looking at Little Bites

Open box of chocolate candy
Search for the legend handy
Which one should I avoid
Maple coconut schadenfreude
Likewise the jelly belly beans
Is orange vomit or tangerines
The chart that came with the bag
Was hidden by a scalawag
With trembling heart and hand
I make a guess, a choice unplanned
A tentative taste, a little nibble
With relief it’s peanut brittle!

In this week leading up to Christmas there are a multitude of treats piling up in the break room at work. The boss set out a box of chocolate crepes. These are light and crispy and very tasty. The best part is that there are no surprises. What you see is what you get!

Now there are also 2 boxes of assorted chocolates. These are quite tempting to me. But there is a hitch. I am very cautious about sampling them because there is no diagram showing which is which! I think someone tossed it since I’m familiar with that company and they always include one. The other box, well, it is hard to say what is what because none of the chocolates match the picture in the lid. I hate maple and I will spit out coconut, then shudder and search for some water to rinse out my mouth… So I really don’t want to take a chance. I caught one of my coworkers moving chocolates. She reasoned that because there were spaces, she should remove the empty papers and slide things around to consolidate the candy and eventually get it all on one level and eventually into one box! I’ve resolved to avoid those chocolates. With my luck I’d get the double whammy of maple coconut!

Then there is the bottle of jelly beans. These are an assortment in a 3 pound plastic jar. I’ve seen this before last Christmas with Sparky’s family (because they like their candy). It came with a pictogram of the various colors/patterns on the back of the jar with the flavor listed. This jar is missing all labeling and instead has a Christmas bow for decoration. I figured I was savvy enough with my jelly beans to avoid the flavors that I dislike (cotton candy, bubble gum, coconut, buttered popcorn, cappuccino, mocha, coffee, root beer). What I didn’t count on was that this assortment was a custom mix. Not only were there the original flavors but it had the Harry Potter flavors, the BeanBoozled mix, Sours and the Cocktail Classics mixed in. It was an evil thing to do as a Christmas gift. As you might have guessed, I attempted to select some of my favorite flavors – licorice, cinnamon, peach, and juicy pear. Unfortunately in the perverse universe of Jelly Belly the peach is the same look as vomit, cinnamon is very similar to cherry or earthworm, and the pear is identical to booger. I can tell you without reservation that I do not like the taste of vomit, earthworm or booger. And yes I spit them out. And I will be avoiding that jar of (tainted) jelly beans from now to eternity!

21 thoughts on “Looking at Little Bites

  1. I do like maple, but Not coconut! Hard candy is not nearly as good as it used to be. The flavors are not right. I think the hi-fructose corn syrup in place of sugar makes them all taste funny. I want my orange to taste like orange, red like cherry, and purple like grape. And yellow like lemon, not banana, ugh. No watermelon either! Enough complaining. Peanut brittle is yummy, also chocolate. I admit I have a sweet tooth.


    1. Haha! I got some candy called apple pie bites and they actually taste just like apple pie – so yummy. And it is not nice when they trick you with banana flavored candy when you expected lemon!


    1. Thanks for the comment and visit! I’m tickled that my post was enjoyable! Those jelly beans won’t come near my lips – it was a sick joke to play on the staff… I love dark chocolate (as did my father who was also diabetic). He would get sugar free “diabetic” chocolates. He had to ration them but he did savor the treat.


  2. Fun poem, Muri! Scalawag was a great and unexpected rhyme. As Forrest Gump would say, “Life is like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re gonna get.” When my friend was a kid, she and her siblings would pinch the bottoms of the unidentified chocolates, eat the crèmes, and put the jellies back. “How come there are so many damned jellies in these assortments?” her father would complain, not knowing he was being set up. What kind of sick person mixes Harry Potter Bertie Botts beans into a jar of regular ones? Yikes! 🙂


    1. Exactly! I’m debating whether it was just passive-aggressive shenanigans or truly an act of evil to mix those jelly beans. It doesn’t really matter at this point – there is no way one of those beans is passing my lips! I have seen people push the bottoms of the chocolates to try to determine the type – I’ve always thought that was, um, unsanitary and sort of rude… but if the box was mine and in my kitchen I’ think I might do that… but not a box at work. So I’m steering clear of the chocolates as well.

      Liked by 1 person

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