Looking at Legs

My species has two
Other animals have more
But mine look better

So we are at the beach and I’m wearing leggings. It is a little cold since the wind is coming off the water (it is December after all). Sparky has an arm over my shoulders supposedly to help keep me warm as we stroll just out of reach of the surf. He leans in and says, “I really like your cute chubby legs.”
*Sound of a phonograph needle scraping across the record*
What??!!?!?! I can’t believe he just committed suicide. I’m not sure if it was my exclamation or my stiffened posture that clued him. He immediately started backpedaling. He was joking, just kidding, it was a compliment, he loves my legs. I considered giving him the gypsy curse. Then I considered forgiveness. I finally settled on reparations.

He has no appreciation of LuLaRoe fashion. In fact he can’t differentiate one clothing brand from another unless it has the brand name emblazoned across the chest, shoulders, or back side. I generally do not have any strong brand loyalties. There are however certain designers who seem to have my number. Alfred Dunner puts out clothes in my color palate. Vera Wang has some dresses that speak to my heart. But LuLaRoe, well, this is a siren call to my Bohemian soul. I like ruanas, ponchos, pashminas, shawls and scarves. The longer tops with the flared hems scream my name. I like pattern and color. But it is the texture of certain fabrics that have an allure hard to resist. So I buy LuLaRoe at Goodwill because I am too frugal to shell out $40 – 70 for a piece of casual clothing. I buy all my leggings second hand (softer than butter) because leggings shouldn’t cost more than the rest of the outfit.

I’m pretty sure you can tell where this is headed. I’m thinking I’ll need to ask saintvi to help me get hooked up with the Brays (hey, hey!) so I can get a new dress and matching thingy – they have names for all these things and I just can’t remember them – a Carly with a Shirley… I think.

22 thoughts on “Looking at Legs

  1. My oldest daughter wears only LuLaRoe clothes these days. I tried, but the leggings are too warm for me in summer and not warm enough in winter. The top I bought was too clingy for me. So I’m back to sweatpants and sweatshirts since it’s winter. Anyway, I don’t have to go to work, and nobody cares what an 80 year old woman looks like. I’m warm and comfy, and that’s what counts.

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    1. The LulaRoe is very soft and the patterns speak to me… but like all things it isn’t for everyone! I can see wearing the leggings to bed in the winter – and that might happen yet this winter!

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    1. I’ve seen their ads but I don’t order much on line.. I’m too afraid that I’ll end up having my card compromised. Wish sounds too good to be true – which means it probably is…

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  2. Oh, Sparky!!! After all these years, he should’ve known better! It must have been the novelty of Florida in December that threw him off his game. I will certainly introduce you to the Brays (hey hey!), or Jenna, or Kandi, or Brooke…

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    1. He backpedaled so fast. But once out of his mouth he couldn’t recall – they haven’t created that feature in verbal communication like the “undo send” command for gmail!

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  3. Brand name clothes don’t “speak” to me anymore. Stuff either fits, or it doesn’t. Secondhand is fine, color doesn’t matter. I once found a pair of carrot-orange shorts in my size, lots of great pockets, for $2. (They turned out to be Columbia.) A cute navy polo shirt with daisies on it, $1. I’m not sure what the gypsy curse is, but Sparky probably deserved it for a remark like that. Ever seen the old cartoon about the real reason dinosaurs are extinct? The female dinosaur asks the male, “Do these pants make me look fat?” I suppose he responded with something about liking her chubby legs. 🙂

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    1. Poor dinosaurs. Seems men haven’t evolved too far! He was sorry but he still will make it up to me. I buy almost everything at Goodwill or on super discount. And I have found that I can be stylish and comfortable! Carrot orange is one of my colors!

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  4. I’m sure “chubby” was just the inarticulate speech of his heart that couldn’t come up with “voluptuous”. In his mind’s eye, he saw nothing but your tongue-tying pulchritude. Men! Ya gotta luv ’em.
    My friend’s husband once told her that she had a great bottom, but her top…not so much. Poor guy, I think it’s been about ten years now since he’s seen her naked.

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    1. Hahaha! That poor guy… Sparky has been very complimentary since that unfortunate verbal slip up. I wore a bathing suit on vacation and he didn’t say much- only leered and drooled a bit. I guess that’s better than foot in mouth syndrome.

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  5. Oh Sparky…LOL Poor guy. Just remember he is a guy and they, bless their hearts, don’t realize how what they say is going to be perceived.
    I rarely ever buy new clothes..or used for that matter. I get clothes sometimes for Christmas or birthday but basically I wear the same things I’m comfortable with year after year..in style or not. LOL.

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    1. In all the photos I’ve seen you look lovely! Sparky is definitely being a little more careful in his utterances. I cut him some slack but I may use it as leverage in the future…

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