Looking for Intelligent Life

I am spending way too much time standing in lines. I have to line up at the check-out (even the self-checkout has a long line), at the doctor’s office, at the dentist, even to get in the workout center! While waiting I watch people. I strike up conversations. And sometimes I have to wonder if there really is intelligent life on this planet! Case in point: I was standing in the checkout line with my groceries on the conveyor belt. I had placed one of those separator bars in front of my stuff and I put another behind. The cashier finished with the woman ahead of me and began ringing up my purchases. So far all was normal. As I stood there a young woman (maybe in her early 20s) began putting her items on the belt AND SHE REMOVED THE SEPARATOR BAR! I was puzzled. Then she shoved her stuff up and was mashing my peaches!! I picked up my fragile produce and replaced the bar. By this time the cashier was nearly through my stuff and I handed her my peaches. She took them rang them up and grabbed the other woman’s things to scan. I stopped her. (The woman had again removed the separator bar.) This delayed the process a tad since there were a couple things that had to be voided. Anyway the short conversation revealed that the young woman had NO CLUE that the bar was used to keep our groceries apart. Instead she thought that the bar deactivated the conveyor belt – a sort of brake to keep it from moving forward. It does stop the belt when it gets to the scanner but she thought that having it ON the belt would prevent it from moving. I put on my cloak of patience and explained that the bar was to prevent the cashier from combining our purchases. I don’t think she believed me. Below is a quatern where each stanza is 4 line long and each line is 8 syllables long. The first line of the 1st stanza repeats as the 2nd line of the 2nd stanza, 3rd line of the 3rd stanza, and finally the 4th line of the last stanza. There’s no required meter or rhyme scheme but I wrote it as rhyming couplets just for fun…

She looks at me with bovine eyes
She can’t discern the truth from lies
She can’t tell what’s wrong from right
There’s no thought or intellect’s light

I speak to her but she just sighs
She looks at me with bovine eyes
I search her face for just one sign
A clue, a thought, a spark divine

I can’t find intelligent life
Instead stupidity is rife
She looks at me with bovine eyes
Her head filled up with butterflies

Deeply into her eyes I gaze
All I see is a mental haze
I whisper truth and all words wise
She looks at me with bovine eyes

15 thoughts on “Looking for Intelligent Life

  1. I’m the dumb one in my family, and I’m always finding some trouble. My nickname growing up was “genius child” and “creek minnow” I put icy hot on my rear because I thought it might burn the itch. Recently, I grabbed swimmer ear’s drops for my ears instead of eye drops! The agony! I try not to become a Darwin Award.

    I don’t mean to insult your intelligence with the link.

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    1. The Darwin Awards have been around for a long time. Amazingly there seems to be a never ending font of stories provided by people too dumb to survive. Yet even with the natural selection going on there is never a dearth of candidates for the award…

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  2. great creativity to deal with your frustration … wonder if she was actually super intelligent and just hoping you would pay for her groceries … I have seen that. After they are rung up they grab them quickly and say “oh their mine” and escape before you can even mention the bill!

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