Looking at Cookies

It is that time of year when I am able to purchase the single most sought after cookie on the planet, the Girl Scout Cookie. I personally favor the Thin Mint where Sparky is overly fond of the Caramel deLites (aka Samoas). We now have a couple boxes of each stashed in the pantry for special occasions like if the Pope were to visit. As I was looking at the cookies I started thinking about cookies and how I eat them. So there are only 4 store cookies I am willing to spend my hard earned cash on: Thin Mints, Oreos, Chocolate Covered Graham Crackers, and Almond Windmill Cookies. (All others are but pale imitations of real cookies.) A couple of months ago Oreo came out with a mystery flavor filling in their cookies. It was a contest and if you guessed correctly you could be entered into a drawing for some sort of prize. Saintvi had some and offered me one to get my opinion on the flavor. She was aghast at my method of eating an Oreo.

1. Oreo cookies (original chocolate only as the others are an abomination especially the double stuff): Without milk the only real option is to pop the whole thing into your mouth. Forget twisting the halves apart. If you eat the middle out you are not an adult. If there is milk available the method changes to submerging the whole cookie into the milk and fishing it out just before it disintegrates. Place the whole cookie into your mouth. With either method chew and swallow and enjoy the lovely chocolate flavor.

2. Thin Mints: To really enjoy these you must freeze them first. Once frozen it is imperative you have cold milk available. To consume the cookie take a small nibble through the chocolate coating and into the cookie proper at opposite sides. Place one opening in the milk and use the cookie as a straw to suck milk through the cookie until the cookie is filled with milk. This may take a couple swallows of milk. Then place the whole cookie in your mouth and mush it up with the tongue before chewing and swallowing. Follow each cookie with a good swig of milk.

3. Chocolate Covered Graham Crackers: Like Thin Mints this cookie is best with milk. Again, take a nibble off opposite corners but don’t try to suck on the cookie. The graham cracker is very absorbent. Submerge the cookie in milk and observe the air escaping the corner. When no more bubbles rise, gently remove the cookie and bite off the far end. The interior should be soft and saturated with milk. Be careful not to drip.

4. Almond Windmill Cookie: This is a crunchy cookie with lots of cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and clove. The originals have a square hole in the middle. This cookie requires concentration since to eat it you bite away at the edges until the cookie resembles a Chinese coin. Once it is the size of a 25-cent piece it can be eaten in a single bite. These tend to be a dry cookie and should be followed by a beverage. I prefer milk or hot chocolate but most folks like them with coffee or tea. The heathen will dunk them into the tea or coffee or nibble them into odd shapes like guns, boats or animals. I am refined.

So there you have it. I much prefer homemade cookies. I think my favorite is chocolate mint chip. Although saintvi makes a Pfefferkuchen (pepper cookie) that is very very tasty! But if I am going to eat a store bought cookie I’m going to do it right!