Looking Bionic

I am from the era of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman. My father watched those shows religiously and I watched along with him. As much as I would have loved to be bionic the method of becoming was destressingly brutal. No one wants to crash an aircraft or have a failed parachute jump. I do however have a bionic nose. I can smell things from a great distance. I can distinguish aromas and determine location and origins of smells. It is my super power. No one wants to believe me. Sparky doesn’t want to believe. Sparky now believes.

It was a normal weekend way back in 1997. I was in the basement folding laundry. Suddenly my nose detected an unpleasant smell. I immediately recognized this as the smell of natural gas. I bolted upstairs and got Sparky’s attention alerting him to the presence of gas. His reaction was to mosey to the basement, sniff around and proclaim, “I don’t smell anything. You are imagining it.” I went back down but I had acclimated and could nolonger detect the gas. This smell persisted and I contacted Sparky’s parents. His mother came over and confirmed that I was really smelling gas. She called the gas company and they found a pinhole leak. It was corrected. “I told you so.”

This was not the first time I had employed the bionic nose. I had had 2 children in diapers at the same time. I could tell which one was poopy from the next room. I could tell which kid had eaten my chocolate stash from across the room with my eyes closed. I knew. We got a dog. I knew when he had an intestinal upset, when he needed his rearend cleaned off, when he had rolled in something nasty or chewed on something rotten – I could smell him at 40 paces. But Sparky had difficulty believing me until I made him check. I was always right. “I told you so.”

So last week I came downstairs in the morning having just rolled out of bed. I walked down and before even getting to the kitchen I smelled it. “What is that awful smell?” I queried Sparky. He shook his head and asked what I was smelling now – since he didn’t detect anything in the air. I said it smelled like sulfur. “Oh, yeah. I made some hard boiled eggs and 2 cracked.” Opening the refrigerator I was smacked in the face with the smell of over cooked eggs. Hmm.

Then it happened. I walked downstairs again first thing in the morning (it was a Thursday) and we were heading to get some groceries. “What smells like wet dog?” I sniffed around and stated that it seemed to be coming from the basement. Sparky pooh-poohed me. He couldn’t smell it. I insisted he go to the basement to see if there was a leak. I’m not sure what he did but he didn’t investigate very thoroughly. We went shopping. We washed the groceries and disinfected packages. I had a stack of items to be put in storage (mostly to replenish stock we had used up during the first 10 weeks of the shutdown). He goes down the stairs and starts squawking. Seems the sump pump failed and there was a good inch of standing water in the basement. The area where we store seasonal items, mostly Christmas stuff, is the dog run. For 15 years that was Rangers “safe” spot. Even though we vacuumed and wiped it down after he was gone, we still find dog hair in corners… So the wet dog smell was real, the wood was wet and a bunch of hidden dog hair was floating around. The laundry room rug was destroyed. I never said, “I told you so.” Because I didn’t have to. He said it. He said, “Go ahead and say it, say ‘I told you so’.”

I refused to rub it in. I am instead insisting on a new rug, a back-up sump pump, and a promise that the next time I smell something he will believe me!

EDIT: Obviously I can’t read a calendar. This was supposed to have been posted on Monday the 13th but I goofed and scheduled it for Sunday. So I made the correction but not before a couple comments were generated! *slaps forehead* Anyway hope your weekend was scent free!

47 thoughts on “Looking Bionic

      1. Predicting rain, I can do. Better than the weatherman. I’ve lived here all my life and I can just tell, by the color of the sky, the clouds, the heaviness in the air, the behavior of the insects, birds, and critters…

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  1. page not found so will read in my email this time.

    On Sun, Jul 12, 2020 at 6:14 AM A Different Perspective wrote:

    > murisopsis posted: “I am from the era of the Six Million Dollar Man and > the Bionic Woman. My father watched those shows religiously and I watched > along with him. As much as I would have loved to be bionic the method of > becoming was destressingly brutal. No one wants to crash” >

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  2. Seems a sharp sense of smell can be a double-edged sword! After the incidents described above, Sparky should have more faith in your nose when you sniff out abnormalities. My mom has the same talent. My dad used to say she “could smell a fart in a snowstorm.” My sinuses are always plugged, so I miss a lot (and am spared a lot) of smells. I pay attention when my husband complains about odors, though. My elderly friend Hazel lost her sense of smell almost entirely. She was always worried if her house smelled (“I fried some fish last night, does it stink in here?”) and she was afraid to adopt a cat, worried it would pee in a corner and she wouldn’t be aware of it. Good post. Enjoy your blessing/curse. πŸ™‚

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  3. Such a precious nose deserves a photo that I would like to watch, Val ! πŸ™‚ And I bet you hearing is also superior! πŸ™‚
    All of those qualities are very useful as your post shows and perhaps , they are useful also for the geocaching ? πŸ™‚
    Love ❀
    Michel

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    1. Yes I do have sharp hearing. The older Sparky gets the less he hears… Geocaching rarely relies on the nose and ears but does often require a sharp eye and a quick mind!

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  4. I wonder what happened to my comment which I thought I had posted from my phone. Oh well!
    I totally get what you are saying Val. I am spooky like that too. Sometimes even before the actual smell or happenstance, I get this weird premonition that something is about to happen. Within the hour there is some excitement (?) that occurs. I am weird like that.

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    1. I can never get my phone responses to go through. The phone indicates the comment was posted but then – – nothing! I do that with phone calls to my mother and sisters. I’ll think, “I should call mother.” and then the phone rings and it is her! I’ve had premonitions, don’t choose that entree or don’t drive that way… when I heed the little voice all is well. If I ignore it, well, it never ends up being a good choice. Makes me listen to the little voice in my head. Now if only Sparky will listen to my nose!

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    1. Super sniffers unite!! I do think it is an evolutionary adaption for women to have keen noses – otherwise the men would be constantly consuming spoiled food and we’d have to nurse them back to health!

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      1. Have you ever seen the Disney flick Ratatouille? With Remy the Rat who can discern by smell what ingredients are in the garbage they are collecting for consumption? Which earns him a (boring and unwanted) job as the colony’s “poison checker”? πŸ™‚

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        1. Yes I have! I thought that was one of the better more modern animated films Disney has put out. I’m pretty sick of them taking beloved animated films and making them into live action. Blech.

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    1. The new rug is nice but bigger than the last one so it had to be slipped under the washer and dryer. We are set with the new sump pump and have everything in place pending another disaster. Discovered the old pump was 20 years old so it was bound to conk out.

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          1. things are manufactured to last a shorter time span, so we have to replace them … to think they could make fridges and washing machines that could outlast our lives [when we were younger] but they need rapid turn over!

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            1. Yeah. The “planned obsolescence” is infuriating. My in-laws have a refrigerator that is chugging along from the early 70s. Granted it is really ugly on the outside but it works great and is where they store all the beverages and holiday overflow. I learned the hard way with my first iPad – after updating every time it died. The newer one has not been updated in a year and is working great!

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    1. I’m so glad this gave you a laugh! Welcome to my blog. I hope you enjoyed this peek at the inner workings of my life – please come visit and comment again!

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