Looking at an Old Love

Here we are the day after St. Valentine’s Day. Sparky and I celebrated by doing a carry out at our traditional restaurant – Taco Bell. What better way to celebrate true love than to stoke the fire in the heart (can you say heartburn?) and to test the bonds of true love by sharing a bed with someone who has eaten several bean burritos? As I get older I marvel at the differences between old love and new love. It seems just yesterday that Sparky and I were saying “I do”. Back then everything was an adventure – from buying groceries to visiting family on holidays. We were in the midst of melding our history and expectations to developing traditions for our own family. New love was at times strange and awkward. Like wearing new shoes that pinched a little at the toe, new love was exciting but not always easy. Now old love is a bit like those house slippers that you’ve worn for 3 decades – there are a few holes and the soles are a bit worn. They aren’t pretty but the trade off is pure comfort. Of course that isn’t how they started.

There really isn’t anything that says true love like being kissed even though your mouth tastes like the bottom of a bird cage. True love sees you as a raving beauty when you are wearing a ratty nightgown and you have bed head. Old love is relaxed and will help you disinfect the kitchen trash can when the liner splits and spills egg shells, tea leaves and potato peels. Yes, true love is refined and tested and becomes that old love that laughs when the burrito makes your gut start to sing whale songs. And that old love laughs even harder when you laugh at their laughter and toot with every laugh… Yeah, old love can laugh and not be horrified or embarrassed with worry that divorce proceeding will be begun on the grounds of “excessive gas”. It saddens me that too many young people never give their new love time to get comfortable. They are trading in those worn slippers just because they splashed a little coffee on one toe…

55 thoughts on “Looking at an Old Love

  1. We are in the aging stages. There are times when it feels like we are in young love with plenty of excitement. But we also know now how to communicate and work through problems.

    And when we fight I have learned to give Wrangler space for a couple hours and we can talk like adults and work through the problems. I know we are not quitting each other when we fight we just need time to calm down and think before we say hurting things.

    We have seen each other at our worst. And we have shored each other up when needed and pushed each other out of our comfort zones in trying things we never would have.

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          1. No it is not. I went through a very emotional time when Wrangler just did not get it. But after a while and lots of trying I finally got him to understand where I stood and we were able to grow and move forward into something stronger.

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  2. Some are addicted to the excitement of new love. Old love is comfortably mundane, like watching reruns of a favorite TV show. I avoid bean burritos. With 4 aged beings (me, hubby, and two dogs) in bed, it’s not safe to light a match in there, no matter what we eat. Valentine’s Day was a low-key affair, we are not big into Hallmark Holidays with all the cards, flowers, and fanfare. πŸ™‚

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  3. I watched my Aunt Jo and Uncle Hank’s marriage from the time I was a little girl. Their kids were older than me so I guess they were maybe 12 years in when I became aware of them as a relationship. They went through all kinds of NOT fun stuff, got on each others nerves, went through a period where they stayed away from each other a LOT, and then, the last time I visited — 11 years ago — they had moved their chairs close together in the living room and sat there in the evening holding hands. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen in my life.

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      1. It was. I think they realized that there wasn’t much time left and understood EVERYTHING about how their journey had been together. My uncle was crazy about my Aunt Jo and loved telling the story about how when he got out of the Navy after WWII he’d made it back to her. ❀

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  4. Valerie ~ You are so gifted in expressing your ideas, and I agree with you completely. Love that is new is very special, but the love that grows and continues through the decades is priceless! And I totally get the analogy of the comfy slippers. I can’t throw away a couple of shirts of mine that are a bit holey (not holy) and are much too big for me -they are just so comfy and cozy, & I don’t even want to fix the hole(s)! I just wear them around the house. πŸ˜€

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    1. Carolyn thank you for the wonderful compliment! I am so glad that this post resonated with you. Sparky has his slippers and I have a sweater (I don’t wear it in public because it is so ratty looking), you have the shirts, and I’m pretty sure most people have some item of clothing that they are hanging onto for the memories and for the comfort they get from it. Fortunately the real comfort is the people in our lives who we love and who love us in return!

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  5. Absolutely love this! I’d say more, but my stomach is reminding me that I am mortal and time is fleeting. (Translation: I gotta go get some food before my belly starts eating ME!) I’ll definitely be back for more!

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    1. Many thanks for the visit and comment! Come back soon when your blood sugar is back to normal… I just spent the last hour and a half exploring GISH from the link on your blog – it looks like a lot of fun!

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  6. This post reminded me of your father! Lethal gas! I used to tell him we needed to send a canary in the bathroom after he had been in there just to make sure that it stayed alive. We had a very comfortable relationship as time went on in our long marriage…I would hope the same for every couple. I sure do miss your father even with his lethal gas!

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  7. Old love hangs in the air, and still feels very much appropriate. I was once asked, by a hopeful, whether I thought I’d ever find another (not-so-hidden message-“Take MEEE”). My answer was a gentle, but blunt, “No”. Whether another person will ever be in my life, in a romantic way, remains to be seen, but she would not be “another” Penny.

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