I am a little odd. I’ve known this for a long time and I’m good with it. Recently I’ve gotten odder. So here’s my story with some back story first.
Medically I’ve always been a little out of the ordinary. The first indication was when I was born. I was very small and remained so until HS which resulted in a multitude of dietary interventions (can you say Tiger’s Milk?). Seemed I was also so sensitive to sun that I’d burn badly just being in my crib inside with a little sun coming in the window – in January. I’ve had cysts, orthognathic surgery, and a molar pregnancy. I ended up as patient #6 in a medical journal for xanthogranulomatous oophoritis because it is kind of sort of really rare. My surgeon was so excited that he practically begged me to allow him to publish.
Which brings me to the most recent oddity. I thought I had ringworm. First, I work with animals and sometimes animals have ringworm. I’ve had ringworm before (granted it has been a very long time ago), but mostly because Sparky is a fungal magnet and keeps getting fungus at the gym (yet another reason not to join). I immediately started treatment with the prescription antifungal cream that Sparky hadn’t used up. I treated from September to January. I started to worry when the areas began to increase in size. So I finally went to the doctor. He looked at it and scratched his head. “It doesn’t appear like ringworm to me.” he intoned. Then after poking and squeezing it and then making some odd noises associated with indecision, he sent me to the expert.
I was able to get in to see the dermatologist in February. He was nearly gleeful as he examined my arm lesions. I suspect he gets really bored with acne, seborrhea and psoriasis. He was absolutely giddy as he measured and took photos of my lesions. He kneaded the skin and got very excited as he explained that he wanted to take a biopsy to confirm his suspicions, just a little outpatient surgery. The results indicated a rare condition which has no cure. The treatments don’t often work, no one really knows what triggers it. It sounds like Morticia Addams’ sister – Morphea (aka localized scleroderma). It is a rare, 3 in 100,000 disease in the autoimmune family. On the bright side it isn’t contagious and will probably, (maybe) resolve itself in 6 months with treatment or a couple of years without. On the downside it will likely leave a nasty ugly scar. I couldn’t just have something curable. Treatment has begun with some pretty high powered steroid cream. My dermatologist is very excited with the whole thing. I’m less enthusiastic.
So I’m starting early to come up with some sort of heroic or exciting story to explain my scars (sorry no photos). I’m toying with “they are scars from when I ran into the neighbor’s burning house to rescue their cat.” Or perhaps, “Oh that? I got that when I was kidnapped and the maniac who abducted me burned me because he thought that would make my alien force field go down and reveal my real identity. I don’t want to talk about it.” Do any of you have a better story I can use?