Looking for Lost Graces

There are moments when I wonder if I’ve missed something, dropped an important bauble, and now its gone forever. I can’t begin to number the times I’ve walked out of a room only to forget what was so urgent. It is that imperative to leave that evaporates. Nothing seems so important anymore. Life is lazy. The water flows. The air gently brushes past me. There is no rushing, no doing, no hurry. It is almost as if time has slowed. The heart slows, the thoughts become languid. Perhaps this is a preparation for the inevitable aging followed by death. I remember anesthetic induction. It was the heaviness of the tongue, the wooden muscles, that indicated that I was slipping into a state of unconsciousness. The world slowed and then stopped. Unlike death, I opened my eyes and resumed living and doing and rushing. Is aging a grace? Is this deceleration a preparation and a gift? We spend so much time in acquisition of things that we fail to recognize the gifts we have been freely given. It must be a human failing that we dismiss those things that are free. Free is the same as worthless in many minds. But what if, the free things are the important ones. The graces, the loves, the assistance, the leading us out of danger, the saving, the mercies, the caring and comfort, are worth more than we imagine. What if we are designed to slow down? What if the slowing is to allow us to appreciate all the things we were too busy to see? What if I have missed it all?

So this is a prose poem. I never thought I’d enjoy writing a poem that doesn’t really have any rules or parameters to follow. Some folks suggest that it isn’t poetry. Some others insist it is.

72 thoughts on “Looking for Lost Graces

  1. Obviously I’m in that latter camp. On the other hand, prose poetry does follow a rule: it has to say something. Your poem certainly does that. It’s calming and beautiful. Plus a reminder to slow down to appreciate what life has to offer.

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  2. maybe we were never meant to rush about like headless chooks … this space to breathe, to reflect, to organise, to catch up is indeed a real blessing of the retirement zone πŸ™‚

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    1. Age gives perspective and time to do some “deep” thinking. I’ve been able to indulge in just asking questions and then taking the time to seek out the answers. It is delightful!

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              1. oh I know, we can’t be told … we totally believe what our newspapers and politicians tell us but why listen to anything that might give us good health and inner wealth … especially when it doesn’t come in the form of a quick fix pill, that it actually means we must take responsibility for ourselves! [I know I need retreat] πŸ™‚

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                1. We do tend to buy into the idea that everything can be fixed with a pill. Some people “wake up” sooner than others and some folks never make the connection. I’m glad I’ve realized that taking care of my inner life is as important as the rest of it!

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                  1. just reviewed a documentary “Meeting the Beatles in India” all about their search for spiritual meaning which was hugely absent after all the fame and wealth they’d collected!

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                    1. I saw that documentary! It was fascinating. I had to laugh when Ringo packed a suitcase with canned beans because he was afraid he wouldn’t like the food! Any news on the submission?

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                    2. it wont be published until November, so guessing they will inform us until October … they probably asked for hundreds of submissions!

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  3. “But what if, the free things are the important ones.” I doubt that there is any such thing as “free”. Every blessing in our lives comes with a price, a responsibility, a risk, a sorrow at the loss. What is perceived as free does seem worthless, at least unnoticeable until it’s gone. Your prose poem has left me with a vague sense of longing for the baubles that have been dropped. Again, your poetry has stirred my sentimental side.

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    1. Judy I’m very flattered that this little prose poem has touched you! Yes there is much responsibility and risk in life. But just opening the eyes and seeing, really seeing the clouds or appreciating the texture of the surface of a stone – that is the free thing and the thing that is ignored. I’m working on being present and observant. Not only to the things around me but the feelings in me!!!

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  4. An older woman in my former church and I had a discussion on “free” things. We focused on water. She said that her grandmother had lived in Montana when the indigenous people were still in charge of their lives (more or less). And that it was a courtesy to offer anyone a chilled dipper from the well, rather than water from the pitcher (unless that was fresh from the well). She considered that our willingness to pay for bottles of water would horrify her grandma. So, “free” things were more courtesy from man or God, than stuff of inconsequential value. It was a fun discussion.

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    1. Those are the kind of discussions that are like a drink of cold water on a hot day – refreshing and satisfying! You are fortunate that you were able to have that interaction. I really like the idea of a courtesy instead of a gift…

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  5. I started reading it, thinking this doesn’t sound like you! Oh, prose. Ok. It is sweet to see you try your wings out in free air!
    and besides: Russell Edson said, β€œA good prose poem is a statement that seeks sanity whilst its author teeters on the edge of the abyss.” πŸ˜‰
    Now, I’m wanting to write, today, on top of everything else! Thank you.

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    1. I love that quote! Prose poems are not something that I can just make my mind up to do. I have to have a push and a purpose… I’m tickled that this has given you a push toward writing… I seem to remember the last time you did some poetry, your creativity for your painting skyrocketed!!

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    1. Thanks Bonnie! I’m thrilled you enjoyed this one. And I’m a little jealous that you have a black cat on your lap! I wish I could have a cat but with Sparky very allergic it just won’t happen…

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  6. We are designed to slow down. Some of us get knocked down by osteoarthritis or some other thing that is the irrevocable (though surgery helps) signal that we have to slow down. I had to learn how to do that and for that I was given my teacher, Bear. “Here’s the dog for you now, Martha,” said God a few months after the last speedy husky died. I have learned to love it, and kind of regret that I didn’t “get it” a little sooner, but OH WELL. I love this time of my life. It’s really the best and most comprehensible so far…

    And the death thing at the end. It was always there, but I believe that life prepares us for that moment which (I suspect) has some profound meaning we might not have been able to grasp. Those of us who get to live these years are lucky people, but I saw in my father’s eyes when he was 45 and a couple weeks from death, that he knew something and that everything was all right. He couldn’t talk, but his eyes told me everything.

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    1. I’ve slowed a little too – mostly because I want to take time and savor everything that was streaking past… As for the dying – I think it is like the process of birth. When I was pregnant with my first I couldn’t imagine that I’d ever eagerly want to give birth. It was supposedly this awful and painful event. As I got more and more pregnant, I started longing for the birth. By the time I was in labor, I was focused on the birth to the exclusion of all else – including the pain! I hope that death is like that.

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    1. Having to try to get things from point A to point B in a specific time frame would get old fast! I’m happy you are able to have some down time to let life unwind more slowly!

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                  1. I order mine offline. I just get my prescription from the eye doctor and plug it in. I was looking at $120 for a pair of decked out transition lens glasses and a pair of prescription sunglasses from my sight. That is still $100 cheaper than what my last set of glasses cost at the eye doctor six years ago. And they had no bells or whistles.

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                    1. It works out. I hate going to the store and we have such poor selection of stores to choose from where we live. So online shopping is my best friend. I just ordered a beautiful dress for the wedding for best friend off of Amazon Wardrobe and it fits perfectly. There clothes run right on size from my experience.

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  7. I write both..especially in my younger years..i’d like to challenge myself with the rules and boundaries…but lately i’ve been enjoying prose poetry…

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  8. Most of the time, any poetry I write is of the prosaic variety. Yours, being the result of much other poetic writing, is far more elegant than mine. The free things ARE the most important ones- the hugs, the smiles, the “Good Morning, have a nice day” posts on Facebook, the unrequested refills to my coffee cup-all make day-to-day a marvel.

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    1. Thanks for the lovely compliment. I do agree that the free things have value beyond a monetary one. There is no $ that can replace the warmth of a greeting or a kindness of having a door held open when your hands are full…

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