Looking Hangdog

Sparky wanted another dog so when a friend was looking for a home for her dog I said yes. This is the same dog we almost got earlier when she was looking to move to North Carolina. When her daughter got wind of it she insisted that she would take the dog. Even though she is a college student living in an apartment with 2 roommates, she refused to entertain the idea of letting her mother’s dog be adopted – even to people she knows.

So fast forward, seems the college student needs to do her student teaching in a town about 2 hours away from school. She will be teaching for one semester and must find accommodations beginning in January. All the apartments insist on at least a 9 month lease. All the rooms for let have very strict rules about pets which are basically NO PETS PERMITTED! The panicked student called her mother and wanted her to take the dog back. So we got the call again. It was all arranged. My friend would drive up from Nashville to visit her daughter, pick up the dog (and the daughter), drive to my house and drop off the dog, and then take her daughter to visit her father and brother (who she hasn’t seem for about a year) who live nearby.

Then things went sideways. Seems the issue wasn’t that she couldn’t keep the dog. No. She was trying to manipulate her mother into making a choice between her (and the dog) and the boyfriend. You see the only reason the dog needed a new home in the first place was that the boyfriend is sensitive to short haired dogs and breaks out in a rash (though he is fine with longer haired dogs and cats and rabbits). There was a big argument. The daughter confessed that she only took the dog because she was sure the relationship wouldn’t last. She then stated that she’d take the dog to the pound if her mother tried to come get her!

It was late at night when she called. I missed the call. The voice message was heart-rending. My friend was sobbing and apologizing for getting Sparky’s hopes up. I texted her early the next morning. All is good. She was so upset and was sure that this development was going to end our friendship. I assured her that her daughter’s actions wouldn’t change anything between us. Still, breaking the news to Sparky was hard. He didn’t cry but he was very subdued all day. He’s better now. On the upside, he completely straightened out the basement and organized things, tossed some stuff that he had been hoarding (empty cardboard boxes – why do men need empty boxes?), and even straightened his desk! He vacuumed and it is now a very clean space so it wasn’t a complete disaster. As it turned out, she drove up to visit her mother and son, and we were able to get together and have a wonderful visit! In fact she is planning to come back into town around Thanksgiving so we will be able to catch up again!

71 thoughts on “Looking Hangdog

    1. He was sad but as it turns out it might have been for the best. We are doing some traveling (unplanned) and having to juggle dog care so soon after an adoption would be difficult for us and a dog… We will keep our eyes open but when it happens it happens!

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    1. She has finally found her own joy. Her daughter is not taking her mother’s new life in stride. She is jealous and has been trying to sabotage the relationship at every turn. You would think that at 21 she would have matured a touch! Her daughter has tried to “weaponize” the poor pup but it didn’t work out the way she thought it would…

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  1. lol – seems almost as comical as today close to deadline posting my printer getting about 300 pages mixed up almost irretrievably – and when I came to collect handed me a closed box saying everything was fine. Lucky for me, I had booked hot desk space in the library to do pagination so I could not scream when I noticed what they had done (did i mention the pages looked almost identical, only some from a process in 2011, some from 2018….πŸ™„ Sorry, I think I missed the subject here.

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    1. I’m speechless. I do hope the internal screaming didn’t put you at an organizational disadvantage! I suppose the subject was a shared angst (you for the misery of the filing mess, and Sparky for the disappointment of not getting a dog)!

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            1. Just went and had a look! Also the Living unconditionally post – but you have turned off comments 😦 I wanted to say that I’ve been writing senyru and many of them address this… I will probably share sometime soon.

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                    1. good idea – here is what google told me: How do I change Comment settings in WordPress?
                      On a Post or Page
                      Click on Posts or Pages in your dashboard.
                      Click on the title of post or page you want to enable (or disable) comments on.
                      In the settings sidebar on the right, find and open the Discussion tab.
                      Select Allow Comments to enable comments, or deselect the option in order to disable comments:…

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  2. My first thought was that there was so much unnecessary drama with the friend’s family, and I tossed up a prayer for her. My next was of Sparky’s clear sense of loss. I’m praying for him, too. Huggerz. You’re the bridge, and I’m sorry for the extra weight during this journey.

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    1. All is well. My friend and I are good and Sparky has come to accept that this was not the time or pup. The only real problem is the deteriorating relationship between my friend and her adult daughter. Of course that is something that lays outside my sphere of influence. Prayers for her and the daughter are probably my only recourse…. Thanks for the hugz!

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    1. Yes. She did. After a 26 year marriage to a heartless man, she finally found happiness. It was not a choice she made easily and we were going to take the dog initially. Her daughter insisted instead. Round two, and we were again going to take her dog… and all holy heck broke loose. Since she deserves love and this is really the real deal, I will not condemn her for choosing happiness over her pup. It isn’t like she was going to give her to strangers or euthanize her…

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      1. There had been trouble in paradise for so long it was “normal” for parents to vacation apart. Her children were in college/almost out of college when they split. Her son lives on the farm with his dad. Her daughter lives in an apartment just off campus. The daughter refuses to visit her father and now her mother… Although her mother would welcome her. She has only met the boyfriend a couple of times and is just belligerent toward life in general. I suspect teaching may not be the best choice for a career.

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    1. Perhaps for some but he is a really good guy and he loves her and she love him. This is a forever relationship and I am glad she is finally grabbing some happiness for herself. Her dog is sweet and at least for now, with her daughter… Sparky has waxed philosophical saying that whatever will be will be!

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  3. ouch even adult kids can’t cope with parental separation … glad the basement got cleaned up! Might be time to seek a rescue pup … glad you didn’t let daughters antics sabotage a good friendship!

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    1. I only agreed since I’ve met the pup in question and she was friendly and well mannered (just needed to lose a few pounds). We will probably look for a dog in a couple years – after we do some traveling!

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            1. Ha! Exactly! I know that to bring a dog into the UK you have have microchip and rabies vaccination and they have very particular rules… If the rules are not followed the dog is quarantined for 21 day at the owner’s expense! And those requirements pale in comparison to bringing a dog to your country!! Even with vaccinations the Australian govt requires a mandatory 10 day quarantine!!! (unless you are Jonny Depp it seems)

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    1. Wellll, the short story is that I’m not anxious to have another dog and so we are waiting for just the right dog. So many at the Humane Society and at the city pound are of a breed type that I won’t give house room to. (part of the problem being I’m a Veterinary nurse and I know too much about some breeds…)

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        1. Personally I prefer a medium sized dog so my favorite breeds are the Australian Shepherd, Border Collie, Australian Cattle Dog, Wire-Haired Pointing Griffon, Doberman Pinscher… I’m not a fan of the brachycephalic breeds like the Pug, Boston Terrier etc. Nor do I like dogs that are high maintenance like Poodles, Afghan hounds, Schnauzer, Shih Tzu and Lhasa Apso. I won’t own a money pit either – dogs that are prone to long term medical issues – West Highland White Terriers (skin issues and allergies), Cocker Spaniels (chronic ear infections/ bad disposition), Jack Russell terriers (cruciate injuries), Dachshunds (back problems), Giant breeds (hip dysplasia/arthritis), German Shepherds (hip dysplasia, anal fistulas, eye problems) just to name a few…

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  4. I’m sorry for your husband’s disappointment, but glad that you didn’t let it interfere with your friendship. It sounds to me as if your friend’s daughter needs to grow up, and I hope she takes good care of that dog.

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    1. Yes Ann, she does need to grow up. I think she is going to soon realize that her mother is done being anyone’s doormat. Since she is still on her mother’s insurance, and her rent is being footed by her mother, as well as a monthly allowance for food etc., she just might wake up and find out that being evil has consequences. I think she will take care of her dog – but she is realizing that using the dog to manipulate her mother just won’t work!

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  5. oh, the daughter drama. …i am not sure if i will laugh at how brilliant the plan was or be mad at how far she went to manipulate her mom…. and my heart goes out to Sparky though…

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    1. Thanks Mich. Sparky is well over it. As for the drama, She isn’t laughing. Perhaps when she and her beau are married the daughter will come around (or not). It will be her daughter’s choice!

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    1. He was disappointed but managed a “stiff upper lip” through the whole thing. The young lady in question has a lot of growing up to do in the next couple of months if she wants to be successful in the classroom!

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