Looking Lumpy

I change the bed linens on laundry day. I put the special sheets on the bed. Yes, I can hear you wondering what special sheets are. To answer: They are made of a special cotton that is supposed to wick moisture away and keep you cool (because he is like a charcoal briquette when he sleeps). I have no idea if it is true but Sparky thinks so (can you say placebo effect?). The mattress is older (maybe 25 years) and is in fairly good shape. I say fairly because we routinely rotate the mattress and flip it and have it hermetically sealed in an allergen repelling cover, with a memory foam topper and a special mattress cover that goes over all of that too. Well I informed Sparky that it was time to do the whole rotation routine. After a lot of effort and huffing and puffing the job was completed and the mattress cover and pad and memory foam were replaced. I managed to get the sheets on all by myself. As I was smoothing down the fitted sheet my hand encountered a lump. I was not pleased as the lump was on my side and would be in my way. So I did a little trouble shooting (peeled off layers to find the origin of the lump). I discovered that the lump is INSIDE the mattress!

Because Sparky had left for work, I took it upon myself to turn the mattress so that the lump would be at the foot instead of the head of the bed. It is a queen sized mattress of the ultra deep variety. I nearly did myself in. But I got the job done. And everything back in place. The bed is still lumpy just not as obviously. As I was stuffing my pillow into the case I realized that my pillow is getting lumpy too. Sparky likes his pillow to be “subdued” meaning pounded into a shapeless blob. I’m pretty sure that he’s been abusing my pillow. Since his is past its prime, I gave him my pillow and I pulled out a new pillow. (I get a new one every 6 months or so due to allergies).

I’m not so delicate as the Princess and the Pea but I do need a good mattress. I think it is time. Well, it will be at Christmas. I’m thinking this year will be the “Year of the Mattress” since both boys mentioned that new mattresses would be good gifts. When son#2 moved, I gave him his Christmas present early. Son#1 opted to wait for a sale. So we snagged one and had it delivered on Labor Day. The holiday shopping is going to be very easy this year (everyone will have stocking stuffers and sheet sets!!

46 thoughts on “Looking Lumpy

  1. I bought a new mattress this year, and I was surprised that they have changed quite a bit in how they “work” in the past 10 years of my having bought one for a different bed. I like the way the new one works, but it takes a few days to learn your body. I imagine that would happen each time the bed is flipped, too. I flip mine for the first time at the end of this month.

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  2. Our matress you can not flip. But we are seldom home to sleep in it so it should last forever. Or until we upgrade to a king sized bed like Wrangler wants. I think a king would be a waste of money. Our queen bed has a huge empty spot because we snuggle tight because we are used to the small bed in the truck.

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      1. yes these posts of yours are always like that – like someone else said: make me giggle. Her’s another layer: Like a warm-hearted caricature of a what-dya-call-them auntie running the sorrow column in a mag or rag? πŸ™‚

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  3. In Germany, I found the most comfortable beds I’ve ever slept on. Interestingly, there were no box springs and the mattresses were not as thick as ours were even before the ginormous deep ones they sell today are. When we replaced our mattress recently, they didn’t offer a mattress-only option and even claimed the warranty would not be honored if we dispensed with the box springs. I noticed that Costco offers a mattress-only that is designed to rest on a platform bed. I wish we had gone with that option. The memory foam combination, Cal King version we bought is so heavy that we have given up turning it. Next time I’m going for two twins even though it will mean giving up my custom built bookcase headboard.

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    1. I know! Those memory foam beds are monsters to maneuver! But the King size is just the same as 2 twins! you could just get 2 twins and cover it with the King sheets!! My parent’s king had 2 twin box springs and a full mattress on top. I bet the revers would work as well! That way you wouldn’t need to give up the head board or get new sheets!

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  4. We bought a new mattress when we moved here and it’s guaranteed for 25 years, though the experts say to change it every 8. At Β£400 a pop they can sing. Anyway, it’s a memory foam which can be rotated but not flipped, and we too have a topper to stop the ‘ridges’ of stitching causing pressure points on Hubby’s legs. The topper cost a bomb too and we were told ‘It ain’t moving anywhere’. Yeah, right. Every morning we have a lump and have to pull the topper back up to the top on both sides. I don’t have much in the way of bed linens as we gave all of our new sheets and pillow cases away when we bought the boat. I have a spare sheet, plus a new one and duvet set (still in their wrappers), but we make do with what we have as we wash it and as it’s drying outside (or launderette if needs be), air the bed.

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  5. We can no longer rotate our mattress and last time the neighbor helped Wil he had difficulty as it is heavy. Sterns and Foster I think, over 25 yrs.

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    1. Glad your mattress has held up. I really think mine is at the end of comfort… The guest bed mattress is a twin Englander that was my graduation gift from college – 42 years old and definitely has seen better days! (it looks nice but sleeps horrible – has 2 egg crate foam toppers and is still not that comfortable!)

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  6. hello Mrs Scrooge, 25 years is beyond my imagination … you must have some idea of how many minute bugs reside in our skin and hair! How many zillions must have a huge thriving environment in that old mattress? You can cover it with what you like but they will be living well inside and now you’re finally going to replace it as their residential towers are causing bumps …

    Glad your sons are leading the way, smart boys πŸ™‚

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      1. ??? Had to go looking for this one. Not offended at all! Hehe! I love my personal biome! We are “happy together” and have a symbiotic relationship. Yes, the dust mites are a problem as I’m allergic which is why I have to change the sheets and pillows so frequently!

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  7. Honestly, the whole process of making the bed (let alone mattress-flipping) is always far more of a workout than I bargain for. A real calorie burner. I think I would lose my cool if I finished the task only to discover a lump underneath it all…

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  8. mattresses are hard to fit (me). I’m glad you will get a new one! Next one will NOT have foam-it sinks-even though they promise it won’t. I’ll just get a topper for my next one. (this one is only 3 years old, and not supposed to flip)…say what??

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    1. The new memory foam ones are supposed to be better but I’m reading reviews that state otherwise. A lot of them seem to be designed with a top side and a bottom side that makes flipping them unneeded and uncomfortable! I am still researching a new mattress… I don’t want to spend oodles of money on something that I’ll need to replace in 3-5 years!

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    1. I’m thinking it is a combination of a really good quality mattress with the regular rotation and flip. Then again we had rules about jumping on the bed and took care to make sure the mattress was protected… I’m hoping the next one will last as long!

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    1. I used to be able to sleep anywhere at any time. Now I want comfort (and warmth). I always have a good pillow and the mattress isn’t uncomfortable but it is showing its age and though there is no rush, I do want to get a new one without lumps!

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  9. I smiled at reading this post, Val . I suggest you to make some sketch for illustration ! πŸ™‚
    You are really industrious to keep mattress , sheets , and other enveloppes clean,, without allergen and without any lump .
    What a work !
    Sparky is certainemly in sweat on the day you change the beddding ! πŸ™‚
    The new mattress will be adapted for the Christmas night ! πŸ™‚
    Love ❀
    Michel

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    1. Haha! Yes, Michel the mattress will be a trick to fit under the tree – so will likely just have a card and photo under the tree with a big bow on top! Sparky is a big help in flipping the mattress but I wouldn’t dream of asking him to do it twice in one day! I am small but mighty!

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    1. I’ve been diligent with the mattress but only because I learned how that works from my mother and grandmother… I’m not sure how these new “mattress in a box” can be maintained to last that long…

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