“Hey babe, can you give me a loan?”
He asks an allowance cloaked as a loan
Carrying him on waitress tips makes me moan
“Naw,” I answer, “the bank’s tapped out
You’ll have to stay in instead of go out”
But he slaps me hard and begins to shout
“Give me the money, all your cash!”
Ransacks the room, “Give me your cash!”
Screams, “give it or I’ll take you out like the trash”
He heads for the kitchen to the cookie jar
Knows I keep extra in that old cookie jar
By the time he returns I’ve started my car
I’m already halfway down the street
Mama’s house is far down the next street
I look back and he’s chasing in bare feet
This was the last straw and he knows
No more chances, I know he knows
I won’t take his temper or his blows
I’ve seen his sweet side and love’s word
But I have my limits so no love’s my word
No more chances this strike’s your third
My mama didn’t raise no fool
You had your shot but I won’t play the fool
I can’t abide a man who’s willfully cruel
Starting over without you
Take it or leave it – you do you
I’ll bounce back because we’re through!
This is my attempt at a Blues Stanza for the NPM22 Flex Scavenger hunt using prompt #6 -Write a Blues Stanza or write a poem using the theme of resilience. This form was derived from late 19th century Afro-American lamentation and sadness but can be either sarcastic or ironic as well. There are no limits to the number of stanzas and there is no required meter. The structure consists of 3 line stanzas in a monorhyme. The first 2 lines are a phrase and a rephrase of the topic and share the same end word. When diagramed looks like: AAa, BBb, CCc, DDd,…
The problem of domestic violence is found in every city, every state, every single country on the planet. I have read so many news articles about women being battered and beaten and yet they remain with their abuser. Too often they have nowhere to go and such a sense of helplessness that they cannot imagine any escape. I applaud women who are able to leave those types of relationships and forge a new life…
I like the strength of the narrator! Thanks for this lyric.
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Thanks tons!! It does need a guitar, no?
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An all too common occurrence Murisposis narrated with determination and an beautiful rhythm! 😁👏👌❤️
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Thanks Ken! That domestic violence is common is what makes it all the more sad and terrifying. I’m tickled you liked this rhythm!!!
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Unfortunately so! Yes I really did! 😁👍
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🙂
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I do too Muri. It’s even more difficult when children are involved. And too many have to fear for their lives even after they leave. (K)
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There are too many cases where restraining orders can’t stop bullets and the abuser takes lives – the abused and anyone who stands in their way (including children)!!
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Too many guns, too many unstable humans.
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True that! I am not against guns used for hunting – as long as the prey is not people!! I can’t see any reason for a person to own an automatic gun of any type…
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Agreed. Automatic weapons have no use except to kill lots of people.
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Yup. And that is a sad commentary about our society…
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Nicely done with some intense subject matter.
And also well do with the form, it’s a tricker than it looks.
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Thanks Mr. Mouse!! I enjoyed it once I got started. The form is a little intimidating!
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Well you got an amazing chain going 👍
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Many thanks for the compliment! It worked out which is always a plus…
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“Oh, but he’s so sweet when he’s sober and he promises it won’t happen again and he’s not as bad as …”
I like the optimistic end to your poem, however unrealistic.
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Yeah Judy. The usual cycle is that he apologizes and woos her with promises and flowers, she returns to him, he continues to verbally, psychologically, and physically abuse her. My hope is that she is able to regain her self-esteem and learn from her mistakes (even if it is not statistically probable).
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I applaud your courage with the poetry challenge, and the subject matter. Good work!
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Thanks Dodi! Some people are trapped in a cycle of violence, others are able to escape…
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A strong woman she is. I love her already.
The poetical way of story telling is filled with inspiration. Hats off. Awesome read.
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Thanks so very much Kritika! I’m tickled you enjoyed this form and the story it told!!
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My pleasure 🙂
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❤
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Beautiful. You did a good job. We have a family member who is divorced from a known abuser who is still at his place all the time. The worry never ends.
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That is scary!! I hope there are enough people around that should they need help, it would arrive quickly!!
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She lives an hour and a half away from the neatest family. Her own stupidity will get her one day. She has many issues.
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That’s too bad… one can only help so much. We all have to make choices – I hope she makes some smart ones!
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Thank you.
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❤ ❤
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I liked the bluesy flow of this, Muri, but I felt like the subject didn’t match the form. We sing the blues when we’re stuck, when there’s no way out. Your protagonist got away, but she might wind up singing the blues again in a few weeks when her mom (and mom’s 17 rescue cats) are driving her nuts and she’s tired of sleeping on the couch.
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Hehe! It is more likely that she’ll end up back with the violent boyfriend or with another man of the same ilk – the cycle seems to be on repeat for many women… I hope she enjoys the cats and her mom is a kind and understanding woman, one who will support her daughter and take a rolling pin to that boyfriend should he show up at her door!!
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An interesting format and I do enjoy how you tie your poetry into a personal comment or story. Well done!
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Thanks bunches!! I like to put the poetry in context – to let my readers know what I was thinking about/feeling… I’m so gratified that this one was interesting!!
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I love it! Really good.
I was in an abusive relationship earlier in my life and it is tough to leave…especially when you are threatened all of the time!
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I’m thrilled you think this one’s good! I’m also saddened that you had to experience domestic violence. That you were able to find a way out is wonderful – so glad you did!!
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Yes, me too! God is good!
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❤
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I love how she decided enough is enough! Awesomely done, Val!
For some it is not easy for the reasons enumerated by you. DV has ruined so many families.
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Thanks Punam! It is never an easy decision – to stay or leave. DV is a situation that should never happen…
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You are welcome. It should never happen…I agree….
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We live in a broken world with some very sick people…
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a suitable topic for this format Val, you did it justice … wish more could find a way out.
We’ve just had six cops guilty of serious DV offences keep their jobs – a loud clear indication of what our law enforcement body thinks of DV! Disgusting in this day and age in a supposedly ‘civilised’ country 😦
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I agree that the very people who are supposed to “serve and PROTECT” have a serious moral failing if they are guilty of the very thing they are supposed to prevent/deescalate and even make arrests for! Disgusting is an apt description!! I’m so glad you thought I did right with this poem!
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you nailed it Val!
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Thanks Kate! I’m glad it worked!!
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Thank you for speaking out against spousal abuse! ❤️
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It is a scourge in this society. I think when it is no longer taboo to discuss there will be change.
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shame and fear are the two big components
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I believe it – we all want to believe that our lives and relationships are perfect…
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To often domestic violence includes child abuse.
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True that! Children are often pawns use to manipulate the abused spouse and in the worst case abused to punish the abused… a cycle that is repeated generation after generation…
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How terrible to be trapped and abused by someone who allegedly loves you – I cheered when she drove away.
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I’m so glad you got caught up in the poem!! I did write a “happy” ending though the chances are that she goes back or ends up finding another man cut from the same cloth…
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I did, immediately! I think you’re right, and DV has a terrible way of reappearing in some lives …
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Thanks Marion! It is a sad, strange state of affairs!!
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It felt like you, going through this, so…applause. & really a compliment if you’ve only seen this vicariously, for which i would be very glad. (many of us take a dark path, but ultimately, for the lessons in the Light, yes?)
(& i see you on my IG, and FB, which i so appreciate. i’m so caught up in the ‘art game’ that i don’t have enough brain or will left to do npm. forgive?)
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Kim, you are ever forgiven!! In fact I don’t see any slight that needs forgiveness… I love the art that you are doing and also the photographs of your 2 friends as they wander through this strange world! As for the poem – I have never been in an abusive relationship. I did date a boy in HS who had an explosive temper – we parted suddenly and when I saw him again he was married and in the Army. I suspect he was an abuser (dodging a bullet). Anyway as a keen observer of life and having an empathetic nature I can often imagine the path that others take… ❤
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Yes, domestic abuse is a huge problem. I wish there were places where men and women could distance themselves to get away from the tension and then resolve things. We do so much in the moment that we regret. I will also say that men can be the victim of domestic violence, but we rarely show it in the media. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dZLsP75Deg
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Yes there are abused men, but the numbers are heavily skewed toward female victims. Just like the Pit bull dogs are singled out as “dangerous” when the Chihuahua more often bites – it is a matter of degree. When a Chihuahua bites it rarely causes an injury that requires medical intervention where a single bite from a big dog can easily result in hospitalization…
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I like the flow of this. Too much domestic violence in this world. I, too applaud those who can find their way out and those that help them do it.
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Thanks Elizabeth – we do live in a broken world populated by broken people… Healing is sometimes hard won.
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Truth.
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🙂
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Penny’s first words to me, on our first date, were: “I only get hit once, and I’m gone!” Since hitting girls and women was never part of my repertoire, she had no worries.
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Penny was spot on! I always said that if I was ever hit in anger, I would leave and never come back. Sparky wouldn’t dream of striking me. I’m not certain what my father said to Sparky when he asked for his blessing for our engagement. I do believe it was on the order of “treat her well or contend with me”!
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Most fathers say as much to their daughters; suitors. My father-in-law didn’t have to say a word.
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Yep! My father was pretty stern and after Sparky spoke with him (privately) there was never anything but respect between them. I’m guessing he told him that any violence would be unacceptable (not that Sparky would dream such a thing)!
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