Looking the Same

A wind tossed sky with clouds far flung
I grasp for meaning in the sky
Shout with fervor as they pass by

Midnight heavens with stars high hung
To stop their motion is my dream
Or pause their light and still their gleam

Hold time still like when I was young
Recall the angry words you’ve said
I apologize before bed

Wish away all the hurt that stung
The wounds will heal it just takes time
True love exists beneath the slime

Sweet love words dripping from your tongue
Nothing changes its all the same
Come to you when you call my name

This is a Constanza, a poem of 5 or more 3 line stanzas with 8 syllables per line. The trick is the rhyme scheme – a/b/b a/c/c a/d/d a/e/e a/f/f etc. where the first line of each stanza creates a monorhyme poem that could stand alone.

I was listening to a conversation in the booth behind me at a restaurant. I can’t help but hear when people discuss in public what should be private. It was disturbing. There are far too many women who are so desperate for connection that they accept and normalize abusive behavior. The conversation was of one woman pouring out her woes to her friend. I have to give the friend credit, she tried to tell her friend that what she was experiencing was NOT love. But there was no penetrating the belief that he really did truly love her.


56 thoughts on “Looking the Same

    1. Mich -thanks tons! I enjoy the challenge of writing when there are strict parameters. I’ve done free verse (in fact it was a year long personal challenge back in 2007 or 2008 to only write free verse). Haiku/senyru are about as “free verse-like” as I want to get most of the time. Although there are moments when I give it a go.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I like this form.
    Love is complicated. Especially when we are inside it. We have normalized the idea that it’s OK, even admirable, for men to abuse women. Otherwise we would not have the Supreme Court that we do, or the President that we did. (K)


  2. Listening to other peoples’ conversations in restaurants or cafes can be interesting, also disturbing. I remember a few incidences, where I would have wanted to barge into other peoples’ conversations, especially when it comes to couples. Like you, I would have liked to say ‘this is not love’. And again, you have introduced me to a new form of poetry, Valerie. Thank you!


    1. Thanks Britta! I love to explore new forms and this is one that I find fun to do. I’m a people watcher and I can’t help but listen in when they are talking in an above normal volume right behind me!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Those women are not necessarily desperate for connection. They might have been brought up in an abusive household and what they’re experiencing seems normal — even if miserable — to them. They’re not compromising. They are very possibly unwittingly confused about how love should be, what love is, and that it is not that. They — we — would do better to talk to a therapist than a friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree that there may be unpleasant history and our childhoods do follow us into adulthood. The self awareness to seek professional help doesn’t come to many until they reach a crisis. It was obvious that she didn’t see anything in her relationship that was abnormal…

      Liked by 2 people

  4. … saw a fb post whizzing past the other day saying … ‘someone can be desperately loving you and still be unable to follow the feelings in action…’ – that’s an angle that seems to me opening a door to relate but in a self-protective mode whatever that may mean. – I am not very optimistic about ‘professional help’ in that scenario but that may be because I am knitted in a somewhat autistic fashion. It does help some, I know.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I know from my parents, especially my mother, I learned I needed to have a man. I think we might be outgrowing that notion a bit, but there are still older generations (like me) who grew up with that and it’s hard to break away from that idea that you are nothing without a man.


    1. A sad state. I do remember thinking that if I didn’t find a husband by the time I graduated college I’d end up alone forever. That said, it took 5 years of dating to finally marry and then another 5 years to decide to start a family… I read a book titled, “Why do I think I am nothing without a man?” that really put the spotlight on that mindset. I wish I’d kept that book – but I gave it to a friend who had just had a long-term relationship implode. She said it was a life saver! https://www.amazon.com/Why-Think-Nothing-Without-Man/dp/0553278797

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree. I became a single parent at 24 because I was convinced I would never “find someone” because I can’t tell you how many times my mother reminded me that she was married at 22. I am thankful that we seem to be moving past that to some extent.


            1. Yep. My HS graduating class was missing about 10 girls who married their Senior year and didn’t graduate. It was a shame – if a girl married or was pregnant they couldn’t continue their education…

              Liked by 1 person

                1. My youngest sister had a girl in her class that kept it a secret, She managed to graduate before she was due but it was a big secret! Everyone was shocked when they found out!


  6. Love is often so misunderstood, misdefined and made far to complicated. Abused people who stay with their tormentors, by and large, are riven with fear of aloneness. Penny would never have tolerated the least abuse, nor would my mother. Thankfully, I have never had the urge to be anything less than truly loving.


    1. Yes Gary, there are some people who are so afraid of being alone that they accept abuse. I think I was lucky to have lived on my own for 3 years and learned to be happy with my aloneness! That made a difference. Those who go from family home to marriage and never have had to learn self-reliance are at a distinct disadvantage in recognizing love.

      Liked by 1 person

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